GORACLE RUSHES TO OPEN HIGHWAY US 14A

In what most observers are calling "an hereoic effort", The Goracle rushed in his private jet (carbon credits in hand) to Wyoming to help re-open Highway 14A which local officials had been forced to close because of a "wholele frikin' load of snow". According to eyewitness accounts, The Goracle convinced the highway officials to permit motorists to attempt to use the roadway by overwhelming them with charts, animated visuals and a really boring story from his youth. His very personality was seen to "suck the moisture right out of the air".

The winning argument occurred when he offered his opinion that most concerned motorists had reached a consensus that the road was "rapidly warming".

Search parties are being organized.


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